I'm confused, I'm lost and I don't know what to do.

Harder Than You Know,

Currently Listening to : Harder Than You Know - Escape The Fate
Currently Feeling : Relieved the day is over -.-

Well hello, today was just a horror.

Let's begin with the fact that I had woken up late for school again, and I had definitely missed the bus. Usually, my grandpa would take me, but he wasn't around this fateful morning. And what a morning for him to not be around. I had to go to school because this would be the third time I skipped school because I woke up late after my maid had left.

Anyway, I had the fastest bath ever and practically flew the brush over my teeth. I was ready in record time, but it wasn't fast enough. My mum had been frantically calling me from her dialysis centre for half an hour so I called her back, saying that I'm late and how the hell am I gonna get to school? Of course, my mum being my mum, she scolded first, discussion later. So I just said, mum, I know I'm late, but I'm up now, can you scold me later? HAHA.

She said she can't help me since she had already started dialysis. I had to call the bus driver back, but I knew he wouldn't come to just take me. So my mum suggested asking my other neighbors. I have two willing neighbors, both Chinese. Bad news was, both of them were out. I had to ask my other neighbor, an Indian man, someone who I hardly saw or spoke to. Anyways, I woke my sister up since she was supposed to lock the doors then go back to sleep after I left. I said she could sleep on the sofa while I found transport and that's when she snapped at me and said she wanted to sleep. Well I couldn't blame her so I just said fine. But when I got to the kitchen to prepare my Milo, I suddenly felt this funny feeling washing over me.

The next thing I knew, I was on the floor, crying and feeling alone. I don't know what that was, I think I might have just been helpless to myself and also upset that I couldn't get myself to school on my own without trouble.

At 6.50am, 20 minutes late from my bus pick-up time, I looked out and saw my Indian neighbor leaving to send his son and wife to the ERL station. This was routine, and I knew he would be back in about 15 minutes or so. So I put on my shoes, finalized everything and woke my sister again. I stood outside my neighbor's house, waiting for him to come home. I stood there like an idiot for about 10 minutes wondering if I had been polite to him the whole four years and three months I've known him, and arranging sentences to say when I was going to ask him.

However, he didn't show up after 15 minutes. At 7.15, I had begun to pace around. I had 15 minutes to ask him to send me, and get to school. Getting to school took 9 minutes with no traffic, around 12 minutes when an old man drives. When he finally arrived at 7.25, I walked up to him and asked him as politely as I could while showing a muka sepuluh sen. Trust me, that wasn't easy. He reluctantly agreed, as I could see the reluctance in his face. He had to change first, and I was just dying to get to school as soon as possible.

The drive was not as torturous as I thought it would be, we actually talked about stuff, and not the weather. HAHA. I got to school, but I was late coz of the extremely slow drive he took. But anyway, the punishment was not bad, I just had my name taken down.

Later after school and extra class, I took a bus down to Nilai for tuition. I met up with a friend on the bus, coincidentally, and we went to the nearest mamak since we were still early for tuition. I was really tired, and I was glad to be home at 8.00pm.

Oh, and to top it all of, I was having a pretty bad hair day -.-

right round,

Currently Listening to : Thinking of You - Katy Perry
Currently Feeling : Dissapointed :/

I LOVE BUNKFACE :O

Today might be the last day I'll be wearing braces. I find that kinda sad.

What else is sad is that, life has been all about school lately. Extra classes, softball, editorial board stuff, school photography, it's all really tiring me out.
But I'm hanging on strong, I know what I'm doing all this for.

Anyway, remember how I said that my uncle would help me get my camera, and I would pay him back? Well, it seems I'm a spoilt child, and I don't need such an expensive camera. I was totally blown away when I heard that. First things first, I am SO not spoilt, trust me, I know what being spoilt is like, and I am not one of those girls. And, I know that the camera of my choice if expensive, but didn't I say I would pay him back? And it's not like I haven't spent a horde of time deciding which camera would be best. Oh yes, I have. 3 years is time enough.

And plus, someone in my family mentioned that I couldn't possibly be good enough to be a photographer, and it doesn't matter what camera one uses, it's the skill one posesses. I can't express how dissapointed I am in my extended family. I'm totally speechless and I just don't ever feel like going back to see them and pretend to have a sincere smile on my plastered face.

Random Note : Last night, I dreamt about going to college. Yeah, scary, I know -.-

one love,

Currently Listening to : One Love - SM Town
Currently Feeling : HUNGRY!

My mum went out, so I took the chance to go online ;)
I'm supposed to be doing housework -.-

OHH watch the video! Yeah, I know its old, but I still screamed when I saw Yun-Ho ♥ ;)
And Jae Joong looks fcking hot, as always *melts

I have to go now, I've got clothes waiting to be ironed. Blerghh.

edit* (9.28pm)
Adam Lambert is good, but he was painful to watch just now. Haihh.
I love Allison Iraheta and Matt Giraud hohoho!

Filling an empty space,

Currently Listening to : Halo - Beyonce
Currently Feeling : A thump thump thumping headache!

HEY HELLO HI ;D

I know, I know. I've absolutely, completely abandoned my blog. I'm sorry, I've been kinda busy and honestly? I didn't really have anything to inspire me to blog. HAHA. Oh well, the great thing is, I'm BACK. And hopefully I'll last longer this time ;)

Honestly, nothing has changed much since the last time I blogged properly. School is still school, friends are still friends. I come online often, but I just MySpace most of the time. I don't really have much of a life nowadays since my dad took my phone away on New Year's Day. It's a long story and let's just all pretend that the reason is because of my upcoming SPM exams.

School has been extremely tiring. Softball season has started again and I'm staying back at school everyday for extra classes. I'm literally spending more time in school than at home. But oh well, I keep telling myself it's just for this year and then, freedom! Hoho. Anyway, other than that, nothing much really. Sports day came and left, my house got first placing. I contributed a bit, I ran 4x100m, 100m, 200m and long jump + perfect attendance for house practice ;)

I still haven't got my D-SLR camera HAHA. I've been scheming up ways to get one, I really just can't seem to save up my own money. So, I've finally asked my uncle to help me get one, I'll pay him back as soon as I start working after SPM. I'm really excited, I'm hoping I can get it in a week's time or so. I felt it was kinda wasted that I couldn't get to use it for my Sports Day, the school mag pictures would have been clearer. Oh btw, I made Chief Editor, yay me :p

By the way, my maid went back to Indonesia recently, and just two days before that, RM1000+ from my sister and I's combined Chinese New Year money was stolen. We couldn't point fingers at anyone since we had no proof, but who else could it be right? I was pretty upset since I was looking forward to spending that money on my much needed sneakers and cardigan. Oh well, shit happens eh.

Another chapter of my life happened recently, in fact just this morning. I had my Grade 8 Theory of Music exam in SMK Sri Aman and let me tell you this, I am SO relieved that it's over. I stayed over Ms Beh's place and totally hardcored this past few days. I am so last minute -.-
Oh, and I had a haircut the day before yesterday and it is h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e! It's too short and the "stylist" gave me bangs which my round and fat face looks terrible with! Goshh, I'm so glad my hair grows fast :/

Anyway, did anyone watch the game last weekend? I sure did. Manchested United vs Liverpool. The much talked about awaited game of the season. I supported Liverpool since I'm anti-Man Utd :D I can't express how much joy I felt when it was a 4-1 win for Liverpool. 3-1 was bad enough, 4-1 is just embarrasing. And the funny thing is, my friends who are hardcore supporters of Man Utd totally refuse to admit that Man Utd sucks, saying that the hero loses first and stuff like that. Hoyeah, I agree with Hafiz, Man Utd supporters are totally stuck-up :p

Okay, I should prolly stop now before I finish everything in one post. Haha.
Till the next post, lots of love,
Denise ;)

Random Note : Allison Iraheta rocks!

Denise 101

Currently Listening to : America's Suiteheart - Fall Out Boy
Currently Feeling : Runny nosed

How are you?
I'm bored to bits.

Who was the last person you hugged?
can't remember.

Look to your left, what do you see?
phone.

What does the last person you commented on myspace mean to you?
some crazy friend that i loveee

What did you last laugh about?
some stuff in school

Who never fails to make you laugh?
loads of people. i laugh too easily too, anyway.

What are you listening to right now?
FOB's america's suiteheart.

Who did you last have a sleepover with?
10 girls and a guy hahhaha :D

Are you happy with your life right now?
hoyeah. i think.

Why did you last get upset?
blah.

Who was the last person you texted?
i don't have my phone :(

Whats your mood right now on myspace?
away haha.

What was the last thing you went to see in the movies and with who?
the day after tmrw or something like that with mama.

Are you in love?
nope :)

If you could be with someone right now, who would it be?
hahahaha.

Do you have any blogs on your myspace?
yeah

Whats your fave thing in your room?
my bed

Who was the last person you went out to eat with?
anuar azmi adam budak baru that i don't know and hafiz

When was the last time you were disappointed?
don't know.

Longest conversation on the phone?
3 and a half hours -.-

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
nope.

Are you mad about anything?
nah.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
yea

What did you do last night?
slept.

Do you get mad easily?
not really.

Who was your last text from?
tah

What does the message say?
tah

When is the next time you’ll kiss someone?
tah

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
hoyeah

Why aren't you going out with the person you like?
coz he doesn't like me back? hahahahahha.

How many months until your birthday?
6

Are you good at giving directions?
not really.

When was the last time you talked to your number 1?
everyday, actually.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
yeah. boxers and my school tee.Who was the last male you talked to?
farhi on msn

Who is someone that can always make you laugh?
azree

What were you doing at 10am this morning?
sleeping.

What were you doing an hour ago?
sleeeeeping ;p

Do you plan on moving within the next year?
im moving on now.

Are you wearing anything on your feet?
nope.

What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months?
valentine's day alone :/

Do you remember your dreams?
sometimes.

Where did your last hug take place?
i don't remember.

Have you been to a baby shower?
yeap

What cell phone company do you use?
nokia

What color is your hair brush?
transparent. heh.

Do you watch the Super Bowl?
the what?

What about World Cup?
yeah (:

Do you sleep with a teddy bear?
yeah. his name is adam -.-

What is the last movie you watched?
valentine. haha.

What movie do you think everyone should watch?
don't know.

What is your middle name?
zaster. hahhahaha :D

Do you have your future children's names picked out?
no -.-

What color is your mailbox?
i think its brown. haha.

Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
nope.

What brand is your computer printer?
HP

How many cars can fit in your driveway?
one.

Who was your Kindergarden teacher?
erm erm ahhh puan ong i think.

Are you taller than your mom?
nope.

Do you have any bruises right now?
yeah. from merentas desa -.-

Are you cold right now?
not really

Do any of your close friends have kids?
haha no

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
nope :D

How many years older and younger than you are you willing to date?
a year younger maximum and older im not sure.

What brand are your favorite jeans you own?
Topshop and Dorothy perkins. i only have two -.-

What is the closest red object to you?
a pen.

What is your favorite video game?
devil kings hahahahaha.

Do you play games on your cell phone?
yeah sometimes ;p

Do you look more like your mom or dad?
my dad :)

Have you ever broken an pinata?
yeah :))

Do you have an iPod or Mp3 player?
both. heh.

If someone doesnt like you its probably because:
i'm really loud. haha.

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
meee.

What are your plans for this weekend?
tuition haha.

Have you ever crawled through a window?
hahahaha yes.

Do you always lose your keys?
i don't have any

How many keys are on your keychain?
no keys, no keychain -.-

When was your last encounter with the police?
just now, at the checkpoint whatever shit.

Do you sing in the shower?
hoyeah :)

Do you always wear your seatbelt in the car?
all the time :D

Will update properly soon, I promise.

The Big Oh-Nine

Currently Listening to : 1234 - Plain White Tees
Currently Feeling : Happy :D

Hey ho, Happy New Year!
How was everyone's new year?
Mine was at the Curve and it was just awesome! There was a lot of people though but still, everyone was great. The fireworks were awesome, as usual.
I don't want to go on and on about how awesome it was, you should have been there yourself :)
Pictures will be uploaded later.

Anyway, its the new year. Some people are saying that 2009 is just a number. I say they should cheer up and move on. It's a new year! Start new, forgive and forget. Why hang on to the past when you can have a great future? You're just being silly if you think everything will be the same. Do something to change it then!

In fact, I'm really excited about starting Form Five. Not about SPM though. I just can't wait till high school is over and move on to college and start driving. HAHAH. I've got a lot more responsibility now and I really hope I can live up to it. My parents are depending on me to do well for SPM so I can apply for a scholarship. I'm depending on myself too. I just need proper time management *sighs.

Oh, and stay in school people! ;)

To finish things off, I got tagged by Gwen <3 style="font-weight: bold;">Rules and regulations
Do not copy answers
The tag questions must be 100% the same.
Tag people after doing tag.
No tagging back

Tagged by Gwendoline ;)

I tag ...
1) Khei Qi
2) Kevin
3) Justina
4) Mathew
5) Hsu Wern
6) Alyssa
7) Audrey
8) Mei Yen
9) Tze Wei
10) Li Bing hahah!


How do you know 1?
From piano class. It's been four years already :)

What would you do if you never meet 2?
I'd probably be much happier! HAHAHA kiddingggg!

What would you do if 3 & 4 dated you?
Oh, erm I don't know.

Do you think 7 is attractive?
Hoyeahhh :)

Do you know anything about 8’s family?
Only her sister. heh.

What language does 2 speaks?
Tamil and Tagalog only. Which is why he sucks x)

Who is 3 going out with?
Ken-Ji HAHAHAHA!

How old is 4?
17 this year.

When was the last time you talked to 5?
About 2 weeks or so.

Who is 6's favourite singer?
I have no idea!

Would you date number 7?
Hahah yeah, anytime!

What is number 9 last name?
Young Tze Wei :D

Would you consider being in a relationship with 1?
Anyday.

Which school does 2 go to?
SOME STOOOOOOPID SCHOOL IN NEW ZEALAND!
Heh. Sorry, I just miss you, retard :')

Why isn't there anything about 10? :(